Not many stories of adventure start out with a dying need to pee, but this one does. I ran inside after purchasing a pregnancy test from the grocery store as to not waste any of the precious liquid in my bladder threatening to burst. I gave that pregnancy test a good soaking and promptly put it on the window sill only to pace ten feet away. I glanced at my cell phone and promised myself not to look before five minutes had passed. I stood by nervously convincing myself that I surely was not pregnant as to dim the sting of inevitable disappointment.
My self-imposed five minutes were up, and I cautiously looked over onto the test as one would peer into a chemistry beaker with unknown ingredients. I saw a line. I grabbed the test and stared- to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. It seemed real to me. I looked at the familiar face in the mirror holding a piece of plastic that would change life forever. I smiled, cried, and told myself, “You’re going to have a baby.” I then proceeded to jump around and have a mini mental meltdown as one would expect.
I quickly chugged more water, peed on another test and watched as the line barely showed- knowing I wasted all that good hormone on the first test. A “barely there” line is still a line. I was convinced enough to jump in the car and find a baby gift to surprise my husband. This should reflect the forethought and planning into the following story of how I broke the news to Justin.
I came home with the cutest and smallest set of onesies I could find to really drive home the “baby” of the baby announcement. Justin walked in from mowing lawns, and I casually said, “Hey, I went to Marshall’s today and bought you something.” Since I purchase all of Justin’s clothes from Marshall’s, Justin had no other inclination but to think I bought him another half-price Hurley T-Shirt from the discount store. I told him to close his eyes, which I’m sure he thought was weird but obliged as I am frequently weird, and I placed a onesie on his chest that read, “Hi! I’m new here!” He opened his eyes and quickly realized that this piece of clothing was not his size. I can only describe Justin’s reaction as one of shock as it is so rare to see a disruption in his constant calm, cool demeanor. It took a solid five minutes of me staring at him with my “dumb yet happy” face before he was able to express real sentences of excitement. The rest of the day we just walked around the house with a cheesy grin plastered across our faces like conspirators in a really great inside joke.
Technically speaking I was four weeks and 2 days gestation so that gave me about a week and half of solid bliss before the tidal wave of nausea, vomiting and exhaustion hit. The first trimester has not been nice to me, and I have a new appreciation of women all over the world who are able to function in normal society when they feel like I have felt (or worse) for a solid 9 weeks. It has been difficult to think about baby shoes, nursery colors, and the like when my one and only focus in life is, “Am I going to throw up now or five minutes from now?” Also, “I’m so tired I could lie down and die.” As a result, I still have SO much to look forward to and focus on like the actual having a baby part of pregnancy.
Despite a barrage of fears and anxieties, I am inching toward the realization that I am going to be the mother and Justin will be the father of a precious new life. I am also more humbled each and every day over the blessing of health, development, protection and what it takes to make a life in my body. My hope is my heart and my marriage will be prepared over the next six months to welcome a child with the love God has poured into my life. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be a mother. I know this will be an amazing adventure unlike any other, and our child will surely be a Wild One.